Many discussions around here on the issue of gay marriage. For the record I am 100% in support of same sex marriage. I was surprised by a conversation I had recently with 2 female friends. They both stated they were ok with the legalizing of gay marriage but felt the union needed a different name. One of the woman was concerned with the terms man and wife. In a same sex marriage/union who is who? Needless to say I sat there with my mouth hanging open and couldn't utter a response. So I am wondering if woman who are against gay marriage or using the term marriage for same sex couple are apt to agree with Tom Robbins description of marriage for a woman……
“Heterosexual relationships seem to lead only to marriage, and for most poor dumb brainwashed women marriage is the climactic experience. For men, marriage is a matter of efficient logistics: the male gets his food, bed, laundry, TV,….. offspring and creature comforts all under one roof, where he doesn't have to dissipate his psychic energy thinking about them too much – then he is free to go out and fight the battles of life, which is what existence is all about.
But for a woman, marriage is surrender. Marriage is when a girl gives up the fight, walks off the battlefield and from then on leaves the truly interesting and significant action to her husband, who has bargained to 'take care' of her. What a sad bum deal.
Women live longer than men because they really haven't been living. Better blue-in-the-face dead of a heart attack at fifty than a healthy seventy-year old widow who hasn't had a piece of life's action since girlhood.”
― Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
Way before these debates began Pat and I used to joke about who is the husband and who is the wife (Pat does most of the grocery shopping and cooking and I do most of the yard work) in our relationship. In our day to to day life we both share all the jobs that come with owning a house and raising children. We pick the job or jobs that we are best at and not because of some random labeling that this is a wife's job or that is a husband's job.
Maybe I feel so strongly about this because I was raised by a very independent headstrong woman. Over Christmas Mom decided she needed to learn how to knit because "that's what old woman do"..those were Mom's words not mine. That was a short lived experience because my Mom at 76 has to much energy to sit still. She can run circles around me. For the record I love to sit and knit.